China day 3:All in all we’re just another tourist on the Wall

This morning we were all up and rearing to go nice and early, partially out of excitement, and partially because we wanted to have a nice relaxing breakfast with enough time left to then go up to our rooms and add on all our bulky layers for the trip to the Great Wall. After yesterday there was no way we were going to risk loosing toes in China. We all had insurance (as everyone who travels internationally should. At all times. Without exception. Deal with it. That’s like CAD$30 that could save your life), but no one wanted to test it, we still had a lot more of China to see! When we packed onto the bus I swear all our suitcases were up in our rooms, empty, as we were wearing practically everything we’d brought withus. I was rocking the always sexy look of three pairs of socks, jeans, leggings underneath, a thermal workout tank top, hoodie, turtleneck sweater, down parka, scarf and gloves. All I was missing was a hat, but seriously, these locks do not handle hats well, and if I was desperate, every ten feet in this country someone is trying to sell you one of the plush panda hats, so it wouldn’t be hard to pick one up.

The typical “break up a long drive with a stop at a local handicrafts/tacky souvenir shop” stop brought us to a Jade factory. I understand why every tour operator in every country does this, I mean, over an hour into a drive, people will want to stretch, use the bathrooms, and get a drink, so why not combine that with stores that give kickbacks to the tour guide for every tourist that buys something? But after you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Gold in Costa Rica and Hong Kong, gemstones in Thailand and Singapore, pewter in Malaysia… I don’t care how you make it, polish it, or what the history is. Chances are I’m not going to buy anything more than a few dollars, so just let me look around in peace and then enjoy the bathrooms. Usually after one of these stops I can’t remember the presentation at all, but I will always remember if the bathroom was immaculate.

Like the over-excited travel nerds we are, the second we started seeing mountains we all had our cameras out and pressed to the windows for that first glance of the great wall. And there it was. Just a glimpse in the distance, and the road turned and it was gone. Then another taste, and it was gone again. And then there was the sturdy citadels of Juyong Pass and we were all thinking, “wow, we’re here!”, but no, the van just drove right through and back to the highway. A few minutes later, after being stopped to let some high ranking Nepalese official and their motorcade through, we were dropped off at Badaling, right beside the KFC. We come all the way to the Great Wall of China and find a freaking KFC? Can you get any less exotic? A short walk up through the giant gates and we were there, oohing and ahhing and spastically snapping photos, as every where you turned there was more Wall. It’s not that tall, actually, or maybe it’s the vastness of the mountains and countryside that makes it look small, but it is everywhere. No matter where you turn, there’s another section snaking the most improbable course along the mountain ridge, seemingly curling back on itself as it follows the angular topography. Right at the bottom we had our souvenir group photo taken (professional group photo with the Wall perfectly in the background, all nicely bound in the Great Wall souvenir guide book, for only CAD$15? Sold!), then divided into 2 groups to sightsee. Half of us wandered around at the bottom, taking pictures, shopping, stopping for hot chocolate, while the other half of us climbed. I climbed. There was no way I was coming here and not climbing the Great Wall.

No matter how cold it was, after about ten minutes, layers started peeling off. The combination of uneven steps and practically vertical sections warmed us up fast, and just when you think “this might be a good time to catch my breath” some little old lady in kitten heels(what do I wear to climb a wall? Why, my heels, of course!) saunters past you like this is nothing. Every few hundred feet there’s another watchtower, which were really fun (and if I was a little kid, would have made the coolest hideout!), provided some great photo spots through their arched windows, and opened up the wonders of a new section of Wall on the other side. After about 25 minutes of climbing and picture taking we had reached one of the higest points in the area, so we turned back, not wanting to get so engrossed in Wall climbing that we went too far, missed our bus and were stranded here. But that would have been so easy. I could have easily wandered along here all day if they’d have let me. It just stretches on forever, and no matter how far away it seemed, there were always the little specks of people walking up every part. It still seemed crowded, despite it being low season, but, as our guide pointed out, you could actually see space in between the people walking the wall, so it was an exceptionally quiet day. On a busy day this must be more like getting swept up in a riptide than actually walking, as the movement of all the people packed around you would propel you forwards. I wonder how many people a year are accidentally pushed off?

Now hiking up might have been hard on the thighs, but carefully walking down slopes and steps that steep is a whole ‘nother challenge. I started noticing that the sides are not that high, and the back of my mind began to nag that if I trip and fall, it’s an awfully long way down to the ground, and I think I’d bounce and roll a while… whenever a guard rail was an option, I held on to it. There was really no way to find a comfortable walking rhythm, as the pavers were so irregular, and we were getting frequently stopped for photos. Yep, like celebrities. Me, Brad and Angelina. Chinese people get really excited when they see white people, let me tell you. They just kinda grab your arm, point with their camera and you smile. There are going to be people all over China now proudly displaying my “random white woman on the Wall” photos on their mantles. This is ridiculously fun, by the way. By day 4 of the trip I had started grabbing random Asian people for photos, too, and they were just as excited

At the bottom we hit the souvenir stalls, where I discovered that you really do need to barter pretty much everywhere here. I got so caught up in the tacky tourist wonderland that I failed to realize there were no set prices here, and I ended up paying CAD$60 for my “I climbed the Great Wall” tee, fridge magnets and postcards, which I could have probably got for CAD$30. Damn you, bartering! Not my favorite thing to do, mainly because I feel like I’m cheating the vendors out of their money, when in reality they’re actively cheating me out of mine. Grrrr. That bothered me for the rest of the day.

All too soon we were back on the bus, and driving to a massive enamelware factory/restaurant clearly designed for nothing but foreign tour groups. We were like the 30th bus in the parking lot. That being said, there really wasn’t a hell of a lot else around here. This was probably the best meal we had all trip. The food was incredible, the service good, for the one and only time we had unlimited drinks and we discovered Chinese Whiskey. Ahh, Chinese Whiskey. Maybe that’s why we all remember this as the best meal… We should have known what we were in for when the cups they give you to drink out of are literally the size of thimbles. They looked like egg cups for Barbie’s dream house. Not kidding. This stuff was like 95% alcohol, smelled like nail polish remover (actually, nail polish remover probably has a lower alcohol content and is softer on your hands), and halfway though your thimbleful most of us brave enough to try it were coughing and sputtering. I have the alcohol tolerance of a gerbil, so I wisely chose not to partake. The only one in the group who could really stomach it was the one woman originally from Poland, and after three thimbles full, even her strong European disposition could barely handle it and she was bright pink. Rumour has it there may possibly be pictures floating around from this meal with a lot of us two-fisting Chinese beer, pink faced over the whiskey, and smiling like idiots. But that claim is unsubstantiated and if asked I will deny it. On the way out I bought some bottles of the Whiskey for CAD$1.60/bottle!!! for my bridesmaids back home (who have a slightly better alcohol tolerance. I should start preparing for my Bachelorette party now, lol), but they would later be confiscated by customs at the Beijing airport (I know, I know, I should know better, but a momentary lapse of judgment meant I put them in my carry on and now they’re probably being enjoyed in the lunch room of PEK), so sorry girls!

To the Ming Tombs, otherwise known as the tourist attraction least likely to be recommended by me or the other agents. Due to the season and the freezing weather (and the fact that Chinese don’t actually like to visit tombs, go figure), it was pretty empty, and we wandered around giant, somewhat unremarkable wooden buildings that looked an awful lot like the ones we’d seen yesterday at the Forbidden City and Summer Palace, looking for a bathroom. The bathrooms there are pretty good, by the way. It was so funny, there was this American tourist who clearly hadn’t read her guidebook flitting around the bathroom, poking her head in all the stalls in search of toilet paper. There are like three bathrooms in the country that have toilet paper in the stalls, most have nothing and you have to bring your own, and the rest have a dispenser on the wall by the sinks. This one went a step farther, and, like all the other Asian countries I’ve ever been to, had a table outside the bathroom selling packets of TP. The American woman, bouncing like she was going to wet herself at any moment, was wailing to her husband that “this can’t be toilet paper, this stuff’s for sale! You don’t buy toilet paper!” Welcome to Asia, Ma’am. Just go with it.

45 minutes of nice relaxing driving later we were back in Beijing. They really have nice highways here, though all major roads are tolls. We drove past the Olympic village and the Bird’s Nest stadium, snapping some pictures, though they didn’t turn out as well as planned as the clouds had rolled in, causing the heavy layer of smog to descend and sit on the city like a foggy blanket. Everything was hazy gray. Would have liked to see the Water Cube, but there just wasn’t time. We were supposed to go straight to our Peking Duck dinner (which, surprisingly, has not been renamed Beijing Duck yet), but we were all still so full from lunch and had money to burn, so we arranged a stop at a nearby knockoff market/shopping mall thing with an unpronounceable name. We wanted some hardcore bartering and cheap fake Fendis! Holy crap, this place was insane. 5 storeys, hundreds of tiny stalls packed in there like Lego blocks, and the sales clerks and buyers were both aggressive. You had to drive a really hard bargain, and I saw one sales lady grab a client by the arm and try to drag them back into her stall as they walked away. This was bartering in the big leagues. I mainly looked, as I’m not really one for knockoffs or hardcore bargaining, buying only a small souvenir painting (that I probably paid too much for, it was that kind of day), and then fled to the coffee shop for some hot chocolate. By the time we got to the Peking Duck dinner at 7 we were still not remotely hungry, and honestly I remember very little about this meal. There was so much food wasted on us, we started picking at our meals just to be polite, and tried the duck (I don’t even like duck, but this was pretty good, it tasted like roast chicken. I’m sorry if anyone is offended by that), but had we skipped this meal altogether and hand nothing but a granola bar, we would have been happy. Too. Much. Food.

Back at the hotel it was time for frantic packing, hot showers and getting to sleep as soon as possible, as we were tired from all the nonstop amazing sightseeing/shopping/driving and tomorrow was going to be a super early wakeup to get to Xian. I don’t know about the others, but I fell asleep with visions of the Great Wall dancing in my head

Tags: amazing, Badaling, bartering, Bird's Nest Stadium, BlogSherpa, bus, China, climbing, Great Wall of China, Jade, Ming Tombs, Olympics, Peking Duck Dinner, photos, shopping

Vacation Anatomy part 3: The memories

                “Two weeks away, feels like the whole world should have changed, but I’m home now, and things still look the same.”  I think Dido puts it really well in this line from Sand in My Shoes, as that post-vacation letdown never gets any easier, no matter how often you travel.  It’s over.  You had spent such a long time anticipating this trip, and then you went and now… now what? 

          Now it’s time to develop those pictures, that’s what.  Just because the physical part of your trip is completed doesn’t mean your vacation is done.  Go through each exposure and laugh at the face you’re making in that one or how cool the Eiffel Tower looks in this one.  Take out all those cool new souvenirs and remember the story behind how you found that perfect vase in a tiny little shop down a dark “oh my God, why am I walking down here?” alley, but it turned out to be a total treasure trove.  Call up all your close friends and arrange to meet over coffee so you can give them the gift you brought back for them and describe all the cool things you saw.  Yes, your vacation might be technically over, but it’ll still be fresh in your mind for months, years to come.   Embrace this.   Use the words “remember that time…” as much as possible and milk every good feeling you can out of your trip.

           Of course, now that one trip is behind you, we can smoothly transition back  into the Anticipation stage again.   Travel is like a drug, once you get it in your system it’s hard to get out and it leaves you craving your next fix.   So do it.  Start thinking about where to go next.  I mean, you have to do something with those vacation days, right? 

Tags: BlogSherpa, memories, photos, souvenirs, travel agent