London – My favorite museums pt 1 – The British Museum

Finding a museum in London is like finding a Starbucks in downtown Vancouver – if you spit, you have a pretty good chance of hitting one.  But unlike Vancouver Starbucks, the majority of these gems are free (although a donation is greatly appreciated).  Thank the British lottery for that.  With availability like that, if you tell me you didn’t visit some of these incredible museums, I’m going to smack you.  Seriously, I will smack you.  I know all that choice can seem overwhelming, but allow me to help steer you in the right direction with a spotlight on my must-sees.  I’ll start with the most iconic, and spectacular of all, The British Museum.

Not only is the British Museum a national treasure with some of the most remarkable artifacts in the world within it’s walls (I’ll get to those later), but the Great Court itself is a sight to see.  The classical, round (literally) reading room, sweeping staircases, outstanding sculptures of men and/or horses,  a cafe, and gift shop, all done in white marble and stone that positively glows with the natural light coming in through the modern geometric glass ceiling.  It reminds me of a television version of heaven, where every thing’s white and shiny and ethereal.  I dare you not to take a picture here, it’s that compelling.

Once you tear yourself from the Great Court, you’re transported to another magical world just by walking through the doors of any gallery.  My personal favorite place to start (because I love Egyptian history and like to work clockwise) is the Egyptian Sculpture hall, home of giant – and I mean Volkswagon Beetle big - sculptures, all so perfectly smooth and detailed that the fact that they were able to carve this well back then is astounding.  Also, there’s the Rosetta Stone, the one unassuming little scribble-covered rock that proved to be the key the translation of heiroglyphics.   If Egypt is your thing, there is more upstairs as well: the actual, flaky, thousand year old Mummies that the statues downstairs once guarded over, all sorts of bones, artifacts and even a mummified cat.  My cat, Cairo, was actually so named because she resembled the statues here, and I’d like to take her into the afterlife with me, assuming she drops the diva act long enough to be mummified.

The Egyptian Sculpture hall leads into the Assyrian halls (I love making a good entrance, and here 2 giant winged human-headed lions are built right into the walls on either side of you, so you can’t help but feel grand), and the Greek halls.  Here you can marvel at the incredibly detailed, life-sized  alabaster people doing everything from throwing a discus to pouring invisible water.  Or, you can play the ”find the statue who’s penis hasn’t been broken off” game.  That’s endless hours of entertainment, let me tell you.  And it’s hard!  The game, not the penis.  Well, I guess a stone one would be, too…  Amidst all the phallus-less warriors are the Elgin Marbles, one of the most famous friezes in history (can you name another?) from the Parthenon.    I guess due to political correctness, they’re now called the “Parthenon Sculptures”, since they were kinda stolen and Greece kinda wants them back, but that doesn’t make them any less cool.  The Greek sculptors are unrivalled in their ability to create perfection, to the point that these people (if they had all the appendages that have broken off over the years reattached) look as if they could stand up and walk away at any time, they’re that realistic.

There are far too many galleries and collections here to list – from Korean to North American to an awesome display of Turkish tiles and Thai Buddhas, there’s even a money display that has some Chinese bills that were used to buy yourself out of Hell – so I’ll stop here, teasing you with the details of the others.  You name it, they have a gallery for it. You can immerse yourself in the history of pretty much everywhere without having to pay for the round-the-world airfare.  And, being such a prestigious institution has it’s benefits, as the limited-engagement displays in the rotating gallery attracts only the best from around the world.  A few years ago they had the first display of Terra Cotta Warriors from Xian outside of China – man, what I would have given to see that, I was just a few months too early.

In short, if you’re in London and you don’t visit the British Museum, shame on you.  If you think you’re not interested, I challenge you to just go in (it’s free, after all) to use the nice and clean bathrooms in the Great Court.  If crossing that white expanse of fabulousness doesn’t inspire you to keep exploring, then you’re not human.

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