The ultimate relationship test – traveling with someone

         “We’ve been best friends since ninth grade, we’ll have the best time in Europe!” 

         “I love him!  Three weeks on the beach will give us time to connect more!”

          “You’re going to Asia?  Me too!  Let’s go together and save on the hotel costs.”

            It seems like such a good idea at the time.  You get along with/are dating/are married to/share similar interests with someone and you decide “gee, Steve, wouldn’t it be awesome if we went on vacation together?”  Picking your travel companion is usually done even before the destination is chosen, but before you begin to suggest a trip, stop and think about it.  No, I mean, really think about it.  There’s no greater test to a relationship than travelling together.

             Let your mind wander back to your childhood.  When Mom and Dad packed you, your brother and your ten thousand suitcases of crap into the van and took off for a weekend up at the lake.  By the time you reached mile eight someone had thrown something, someone had been insulted and someone was crying.   Just because you’re grown up and not necessarily with children doesn’t make a vacation any easier, as it still involves the same components:  long hours trapped together and unable to escape, tedium where you have to struggle to keep yourself occupied or come up with something to say, stressful connections or deadlines, and exhaustion.  Everybody reacts to these factors differently, and if, when she’s over tired and jet lagged, your best friend gets really weepy and needy or she gets so bitchy she’s taking shots at your family/career/significant other/fashion sense/pet, she may not be the ideal person to be with.  Unless, of course you are prepared to handle this. 

             And don’t forget, you’re going to be just as unpleasant.   We all have our triggers.  God knows, I fly all the time, but if anyone I’m traveling with wants to wait and check-in for the flight less than the recommended three hours prior, I’ll take them out.  We can relax once we’re through security, but until I know I’ve  made my flight and am not going to have to run/beg/risk having my seat given away to a standby passenger, I’m in go mode.  I don’t fucking care if you’re going to have to go sixteen hours until your next cigarette, that’s not my problem, so let’s get a move on it.  Apologies to anyone I’ve told off in this situation over the years, but I still get this way every time I step into an airport, ticket in hand, and I don’t foresee this going away any time soon.  Consider yourselves warned.

         My point is that when it comes to traveling with someone, you have to, as my boyfriend always says when he does something that mildly irritates me  (like leave his damp – they’re always damp – socks beside the hamper instead of two inches to the right in the hamper) take the “good with the bad”.  If you can work through your differences in extreme conditions, then you’re going to have a fantastic time together.  But if you have a mental picture of this person being perfect and they fail to live up to your expectations, you’re going to have issues.

          Travel can test even the strongest relationship, bringing you closer than ever or tearing you apart.  The way I see it, if neither passenger comes home in a body bag or handcuffs, it was a success.  If times get occasionally testy just remember, you’re normal.  That’s just part of the experience and (unless you’re the one in the body bag) you’ll laugh about it later.

Tags: boyfriend, family, friends, girlfriend, scary, tough, travel, weird

Back from Ontario at Christmas!

       I did it!  I managed to fly to Kitchener-Waterloo Ontario and back without becoming a strangely dressed popsicle.  And I didn’t freak out/scare off/offend any of the bf’s family as I met them all for the first time.  High five to me.

       I left Vancouver Boxing Day at 8am – if you want to get a great parking space at YVR, get there at 530am on Boxing Day.  The place was a ghost town.  So much for those holiday crowds.  This was the day after the underwear bomber in the US, but my plane was half empty and there was no increased security or anything.  My carry on backpack (I’d always wanted to travel with nothing but a backpack and fulfill that Amazing Race fantasy of mine – it was totally worth it!) was probably a little oversized, but there were no questions and I was still able to cram it into the overhead with a slight running start.

          Arrived in Ontario to 5 degree weather, actually warmer than Vancouver when I’d left.  You’ve got to be freaking kidding me.  I was wearing a down jacket (that’s like wearing a hug, it’s the best purchase ever!) and god-awful snow boots, and it’s warmer?!  I was vindicated the next day when it started snowing, and the snow continued off and on for the rest of the trip, so that was good.  I love watching snow, anyway.  When we get it in Vancouver it’s an event, so here, with everyone being so blase about it, I was the only one stupidly happy.  Whatever.  I was on vacation, if you’ve got one time to be stupidly happy, that’s it.  And the snow in Ontario is so different than what we get out west: dry and fine, it can snow all day and barely accumulate, and it doesn’t stick to the roads too much – the ground temperature must be freakishly warm or something.  It was cold, though, one day it was minus 14 Celsius before the windchill was factored in, and there was an extreme weather warning issued.  Sweet.

        Saw a movie (The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus – weird shit, but my odd art film loving bf was all over it), went go-karting with some of Eric’s friends, wandered around a mall without buying anything (because Canada has the same crap in stores on either side of the country, so there was nothing to get excited about), went to a Kitchener Rangers hockey game and watched his little sister’s jumping lesson on her gorgeous horse Romeo, but aside from that it was all family gatherings.  This was totally new territory for me - I’ve never gone on vacay to just visit with people before.  If I’m on vacation and someone I know happens to be nearby I’ll totally hang out with them, but it wasn’t the purpose behind the trip.  It was an enjoyable experience.  His family is all incredibly nice, and I was welcomed right off the bat.

           Of course, the Rockband didn’t hurt, either. 

          Let me explain.  I officially met everyone in one big shot as the second day I was there was the big family Christmas dinner on the 27th.  His Grandparents (who we were staying with) held it, and they bought a full Rockband/Guitar Hero 5/Beatles Rockband set for everyone to play.  Very little bonds people like some bad singing and crazy drumming, and we had already started when most of the relatives arrived, so their first impression of me was rapping out the Beastie Boys’ “So Whatcha Want”.  Clearly it was my most shining moment.  But it served as an awesome ice breaker!  I highly recommend it.  Thankfully they didn’t arrive ten minutes earlier when I was killing dogs with my fantastic take on Bon Jovi’s “Livin on a Prayer”.  That could have led to an entirely different outcome

           The days flew by and before I knew it we were flying home, back to the tropics of Western Canada.  I could have stayed longer, although I’d need to find a better mall to shop in…  It was a great adventure.  I like his family a lot, and I’m not just saying that to kiss ass if any of them read this!  I discovered that the bf and I can travel well together – that’s a test of any relationship, and from what I’ve seen as an agent, it can go either good or bad very, very easily.  Thankfully we passed with flying colours - and that down jackets are a gift from the Gods.  I’m really glad I got to go.  Maybe next time it’ll be warmer…

Tags: animals, boyfriend, Canada, Christmas., Cold, family, Food, friends, fun, Go-Karts, Hamilton, horses, Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario, Rockband, snow, winter