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Dubai visas are insane

holly — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 00:56:11 +0000

Subtitled: How obtaining a dual-entry Dubai Visa for a Canadian citizen can promote premature aging, food molding, no cell phone service and take years off your life (In all honesty, I have no idea if it can mold food or mess with your cell signal, but it was a horrible enough process that I wouldn’t be surprised if it does).

So, a little background: last year the United Arab Emirates and Canada got into a little bit of a squabble because the UAE wanted permission to land more flights in Canada per week. Canada, wanting to keep the business with Air Canada, turned them down. So the UAE fired back with the ever-popular “Oh yeah? Well, your Momma wears combat boots!” And when that didn’t solve anything they added “and now your people need visas to enter our country as of Jan 1, 2011! Take that, Syrupsuckers! ” *

The big catch is that they seemed to forget to set up the process to which one obtains said visa. Cue December, 2010, and nobody has any idea yet what the hell’s going on and mass panic is ensuing. Canadians with pre-booked pre-paid non-refundable vacations are wetting themselves wondering if they’re even going to be able to enter the UAE at all. Dollar signs are flashing before their eyes, and agents are breathing into paper bags. With just days to spare we finally get word that you have to obtain the visa in advance, cannot get one on arrival, and have to get one issued through a company registered in the UAE, such as your hotel or tour operator. Seems simple enough, right?

The problem with this is that there are a whole lot of loopholes. And no infrastructure set up to deal with these loopholes.

This is where I enter the picture. My case was this: the clients booked a cruise starting in Dubai, leaving the UAE and stopping in Oman, then returning to Dubai and spending an additional week there before flying on. Knowing we would have to arrange the visa with the hotel we pre-booked and paid in full for our post-cruise accommodations and then began the lengthy “email the hotel in Dubai” process.

Now let me just say as agents we don’t normally deal with visas. We normally just hand you the number of the consulate or a visa service and wipe our hands of it (with a smile, of course), but in this case, since we had to get in touch with the hotel directly, I wanted to help my clients out and emailed them myself. I’m an idiot.

It only took about a week of emails – since Dubai is 12 hours ahead of us and nobody works on Fridays and Saturdays, everything takes a long time – to learn that my passengers would need two visas, one for their original entry and one for their return after Oman. Obtaining one visa is a pretty simple process, you just fill out a form, send copies of your passport, credit card, photos, your first born, etc. and they email you back a visa. Simple. This I could have done immediately without problem. The BIG GIANT CATCH that cost me sleep, some of my natural hair colour and a layer of nail polish from all the frantic emails I typed is that you can only get the second visa after showing the exit stamp from the first one. You cannot hold two active UAE visas at the same time. This meant my clients would need to somehow send their cancelled visa to the hotel (from the ship?) and get the second one in 5-7 business days, which they didn’t have, since they were only leaving the UAE for 3 days. Was this even possible?

The UAE consulate never responded to any of my 47 emails, an equal number of voicemails, and the two times I did manage to get a person they hung up on me. I’m still waiting to hear back. The cruise line just gives you a random email and tells you they won’t help you. Over the next two months I emailed countless companies and sent so many messages to the hotel in Dubai they finally got fed up and stopped returning my emails. I found two companies that could issue the two visas, but only if you booked all your hotels and transfers with them, which would cost my clients a fortune, as they’d already paid for all that. Every time I got any sort of answer, the next message/call would disprove it. There was no consistancy, and the visa info on the internet (yes, I resulted in Googling) actually warns you that the visa information provided even by reputable companies is notoriously unreliable. Fan-frealing-tastic.

My clients were incredibly calm duing all of this, and continue to be a dream to work with. I personally hit the full-on panic point a good two weeks before they did. I was just watching the clock tick down, and looking at this very expensive booking and thinking “what if they don’t get a visa in time?” Insurance doesn’t cover not traveling due to lack of visa – that’s your fault and the insurance comapnies aren’t paying anything to cover your ass. Not that I blame them there. But every possible worst case scenario was flashing before my eyes.

We were down to the wire. It was literally the last possible Thursday and if my clients didn’t submit the paperwork for the Visa by Tuesday we were royally screwed. That was it. No more second chances. About now I’m mainlining antacids and checking my email every ten seconds. And then it popped up, as if sent from an angel: a company affiliated with the cruise line (whom I’d already emailed twice to no avail and had only tried again as a Hail Mary pass) said they normally require you to book land accommodation with them, but would gladly help me out if I had been unable to obtain the Visa any other way. Hot damn. There was a God. Or Allah. Or anything. I instantly emailed back, asking for the paperwork to fill out, then nervously waited for a response while they were closed for the weekend, and on Sunday submitted all the forms. I had expected to get a response the next day saying there was something wrong – that had happened on every other email I’d sent during this process, why would this be any different? Tuesday rolls around and I’m just becoming convinced there’s something wrong when BAM! In my inbox miraculously appears four perfect Dubai Visas, each numbered in order they were to be used, and a sheet of instructions on how to get a cruise Visa. Life was good again. Bunnies and rainbows appeared everywhere.

Here’s the thing: if someone had sent me that sheet of instructions two months ago, none of the panic would have happened. I’m not insane to assume the company that issued the Visas, as well as the Canadian Consulate in Dubai, the UAE Embassy in Ottawa and the cruise line would have had this form. Thousands of Canadians cruise in and out of Dubai every year. I was one step away from petitioning the Canadian government to just let more Emirates flights land at Pearson, all the while thinking I was going to be fired when the clients sued my company for the CAD$20 000.00 they had lost. Come on UAE, get your act together. If you don’t simplify this process, you’re going to loose much needed tourist dollars, and only be able to build skyscrapers that rank as the Fourth tallest in the world. And you might have to downsize man made island chain shaped like all the continents of the world so it just resembles Panagea. The horror.

My story had a happy ending. Yay. But just consider this a heads up if you’re planning on cruising in and out of Dubai. Start the visa process as early as possible, book your hotel accommodations with a Dubai-based tour operator who can issue your Visa for you, and if all else fails, ask me for the instructions and I’ll send them your way. You can bet they’re always going to be close at hand for me from here on out. If that doesn’t work, I recommend Prozac. And please stay away from sharp objects for the first little while.

*I’m paraphrasing. It was probobly written in much more formal language.

Home is where the holiday is

holly — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 01:10:23 +0000

‘Tis the season for millions of people to migrate back to their Motherland and spend the holidays with their families. Consequently, it’s also the time of year all travel providers (airlines, hotel chains, etc) jack up the prices because they know whatever the cost, you’ll pony up, because being with your family is that important. Hell, even seven elevens increase their prices, so you’re paying more for that road trip essential Slim Jim. But with the economy being what it is, this year I’ve had a lot of clients forced to walk away from their standard plans, as the cost is just too high. The majority still traveled, but it got me thinking about the significance of spending the holidays at your home, away from the usual folks.

Yes, this is sad. It hurts. And there’s probably a good amount of guilt rolled up with it. But at the same time, this is a chance for a fresh start. A chance to spend time with your new “family”, biological or not, to gather together with the ones you love and see often and appreciate one another all the more. And a chance to create new traditions of your own.

We all have one – that family tradition you’ve been begging to get out of since you were old enough to formulate sentences. It may be Aunt Suze’s caroling around the neighbourhood, regardless of the weather or her singing ability. Or it could be watching A Christmas Carol, the old creepy one, for the millionth time. I mean, I am all about the holidays, but that is one seriously depressing movie. This year, you’re off duty. You don’t have to do any of that crap, and you don’t even have to pretend you did.

Ah, the Christmas dinner. That gold mine of traditions and “oh my God, what is that and why is it mushy”-ness. Being away gives you the freedom to decide what you want to consume. If you’re invited to a loved ones’ family fete, you can always create a phantom “allergy” to anything you don’t want to eat, they don’t know your medical history, and as long as you’re friendly and festive, your lack of eating anything that wasn’t turkey or off the dessert table will be completely overlooked. Or, if you’re cooking yourself, it’s even better. Always wanted that Holiday lasagna? What’s stopping you? For less than 4 people, turkey is way more effort than it’s worth, and what could be more festive than a red-sauced lasagna with white noodles and a green side salad? If it makes you feel better, refer to the cheese sprinkled on top as “magic snow”, then sit back and enjoy.

But the point is that no matter where you are or who you’re with, the holidays can be special, and if circumstances prevented you from reenacting the identical holiday for the 30th year, that doesn’t mean all is lost. It means you just have to redefine your definition of merriment and joy. Have fun! Have the happiest of holidays!

Just don’t forget to call your Mom.

WTF? – Openly illegal

holly — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 22:08:19 +0000

If you’re committing fraud, don’t walk up to a travel agent and ask them to assist you. Got it? Unless there’s some cheezy hollywood plot where you’re blackmailing the agent into assisting you (and oh my God, if there is, you have some serious issues), we’re not going to help you. Nobody wants to go to jail for a complete stranger just to make a CAD$50.00 service fee.

Let me explain. A week ago a man walks into our office and wants to buy all sorts of prepaid visa cards and air tickets in his various aliases. The big catch was that he was so casual about it – “hey, I don’t want anyone to be able to track me so I’m living under an assumed name. Can I book an air ticket?”

No.

Hell no.

What were you thinking you dork?

Luckily he never gave his name (any of them) and didn’t waste too much of our time (when we said “that’s not legal” he said “oh really?” we said “yep” and he left), but it just left us scratching our heads. Who is paranoid/wanted by the law/about to be whacked by the mafia enough to live under an assumed name, but then walks into offices and blatantly tells strangers his situation? Was this for real? Were we being punk’d? For his sake I hope Random guy survives, but walking around talking like that is not helping his cause. All I can hope for is that he was mentally disturbed or something and that it was not his real situation.

As travel agents, we are ethically bound not to discuss any of your travel plans with anyone unless you authourize us to. Luckily, if you’ve got a lengthy criminal record, are carrying around thirty kilos of coke or laundering money, the chances are pretty good that we won’t be able to book you in the first place, as the government screening that every traveler goes through will catch you first. Now the US has instituted a new Secure Flight program that requires anyone flying over US airspace (you don’t even need to touch the country) to submit their full passport names, gender and birthdate more than 72 hours prior to departure. This of course opens up your personal information to more intense scrutiny. So basically, unless you’re really, really good, you’re going to get screwed.

But geez, this guy was stupid. Or nuts. Or both.

Oh well. Makes an entertaining topic around the water cooler!

California Girl for a week! Part 2: The sequel

holly — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 03:40:58 +0000

…Putting the convertible to good use, the next day we drove an hour and a half up to LA for Universal Studios. It started off cloudy and nasty today, too, but cleared up so we could groove with the top down on the way home. I personally feel Universal Studios is the most overrated of the major southern California attractions, as it’s really expensive (both parking and admission) and there really isn’t all that much there. If my friend wasn’t a movie buff I probably would have skipped it altogether. The reason to go essentially is the Studio Tram tour, which is always enjoyable and different, as you see the ins and outs of an actual working film studio. It’s also a major chunk of your day, as when you combine the nearly hour long tour with the line for it, it’s a two-hour experience. The last time I was here I had been on a business trip, so it’s a very different experience to wander around with a bunch of know-it-all travel agents (me included) who ask a lot of obnoxious questions so we can properly sell the park to our clients, as it is to explore in a purely tourist capacity. This was more fun, but that way they threw in some of the perks, like the VIP tour, for free, so it really came out as a tie.

Late afternoon we’d seen all they had to offer and spent some enjoyable time shopping at the Universal Citywalk right outside the gates. I’m a big fan of Citywalk, the mix of stores is good, not too expensive, very kitchy and touristy (love my touristy crap!) and a good selection of places to eat, from Bubba Gump Shrimp Co to Taco Bell. The Sugar candy store even had a ten-pound gummy bear that had me wondering how I was going to get it through customs. I didn’t.

The following day finally brought the sunshine back with a vengenance, as this was the start of LA’s recent heat wave. It had to be 40 degrees, but it felt soooo gooood on my shoulders! We braved traffic back into downtown LA(top down this time) to do some shopping at the trendy Grove shopping mall and the quaint LA Farmer’s Market, which just so happen to be connected to one another. You know a mall is uber trendy when they offer valet service and have bathroom attendants in the parking garage. Not kidding. Never know if I have to tip those people who stand silently in the corner listening to people pee all day… The shopping there was pretty weak, but that was mainly because neither of us was in need of a $200.00 pair of jeans and the like, but the decor was nice. Dancing fountains and a central piazza that looked straight out of Italy until you turned around and found yourself facing a 20-screen multiplex movie theatre.

The Farmer’s Market was tiny! And I mean tiny. Like thirty different food stalls, two grocery stalls, and ten stores selling crap even too tacky for me, and that was it. It was more like the LA International food court instead of a Farmer’s Market. But there were three places that sold handmade ice cream that was really good (according to me and all the signed headshots of celebrities on the walls), and at the Sur La Table kitchen store I did buy this adonrable pan to make handmade mini doughnuts I’m dying to try out, so it wasn’t all a waste.

The real reason we were in LA today was because we had tickets to a taping of the Craig Ferguson Show at CBS Studios. The studios are actually right beside the Farmer’s Market, too, which is actually how we stumbled upon the market in the first place. In an incredible twist of fate, our plans for the day had been to scope out CBS Studios, then go to the Farmer’s Market, and then make it back to CBS in time for our afternoon taping. It was only when we got to CBS that we discovered our planned desitnations were actually in the same place. High five.

As an aside, we had a Tom Tom with us and that thing rocks. With all the lanes and exits and spaghetti junctons in SoCal, that soothing female voice smoothly guided us everywhere with a minimal effort. Except when the driver failed to listen to her. Or couldn’t get over into the right lane. Mostly failed to listen. Then she gets mad, “as soon as possible, please turn around” “please turn around” “turn around” “TURN AROUND!”.

Back to Craigy Ferg. Our tickets were for a 230 taping, but by the time our crowd got wrist-banded, searched by security, all our cell phones confiscated, warmed up and prepped for the rigorous duty of audiencing, it was nearly 430 and we hadn’t seen anything yet. They instructed us to laugh at all guests equally, not boo if something is offensive, and tone it down if you have one of those “special” laughs (you know who you are). The warm up guy was really funny, and soon we were in studio, watching the show go down live in font of us. John Hamm from Mad Men (surprisingly funny and charming), a surprise Betty White (who actually looks her age in person, but who’s still the coolest thing out there), and the creator of “Bored to Death” on HBO (or some network) who was hysterically funny and talked in a onotone about how he didn’t think he had a real penis since his was so small. No kidding. It was a riot. The whole show was ridiculously funny. Hell, even the guy with the jaunty sweater tied over his shoulders who was pulled onstage and mocked as the “gay guy” despite the fact he was there with his wife and kids was funny. Good times, good times. And if you ever wonder if they do edits and takes on a nighttime talk show, the answer is no. It all plays out rapidly and remarkably smoothly right before your eyes like it would watching at home, minus the commercials. Loved it!

Back to Disneyland for our last full day in California. A friend who lives in LA and has a season’s pass came and joined us and it was a lot of fun. I love Disneyland and I love the heat, but mid afternoon we were all feeling it. The fact that we’d all chosen to wear black didn’t help us out any, either Now we were able to go back and ride all our favorites, as we’d already hit pretty much everything once we wanted to, as well as do all the last-ditch shopping we had been meaning to do all week. After dinner at Target (there was no time to stop and eat, there was shopping to do, people! I literally had chocolate covered cherries straight off the shelf as we perused, then had to run the empty box through the register) we caught an opening night showing of the new Wall Street movie (air conditioned!) and concluded another fantastic day by watching the Disneyland fireworks from the comfort of our parkview hotel room’s picture window.

Last day. I can never believe when a trip is over. And I can never figure out where to keep all our crap. It never feels like I’m buying all that much as I shop, but when the time comes to re-pack, there’s never any space. Luckily my friend hadn’t brought a carry-on with him on the way down, so he was able to fly home with all our overflow stuffed animals (when in Disneyland I dare you not to come home without at least two stuffies. Let me tell you, it ain’t gonna work) in a giant Disney bag. I’m sure that helped his street cred We were checked out bright and early, and our last stop was the Crystal Cathedral. I never thought I’d actually intentionally come to the Crystal Cathedral (I used the bathroom there once years ago, but that doesn’t count), but we needed to pick up some souvenirs for the people back home. They have a surprisingly large gift shop, and they gave me a free Crystal Cathedral pen with my purchase of an angel decending from heaven (or ascending to heaven, depending on how you hold it) floaty pen. Bless them.

Saying goodbye to Sally at the Avis lot was a sad, sad moment. It’s like all my coolness went with that convertible. But I promised her I’d be back someday!

Our flight home was surprisingly mellow and easy, thanks to Plants Versus Zombies on iPhone, and before we knew it we were home. It really was a great trip, some very much needed r&r, a little sun, a lot of fun, and a lot of laughter. What more can you ask for? I wish we all could be California Girls (and guys, gotta keep this PC)!!!

California girl for a week! Part 1: the beginning

holly — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 02:52:08 +0000

There is nothing like touching down at LAX, seeing the trademark arched restaurant, the palm trees, the smog and the shuttle buses to Disneyland. I’ve done this like fifteen times before, but it never fails to make me happy, and last week, that is exactly what I needed. A little California love.

It was a torrential downpour when we left Vancouver, which only made 25 degrees and sunny all the more fantastic upon touchdown. The Avis lady successfully upsold us to a silver Mustang convertible (oh my God, that was a hard decision! The whole conversation went something like this: “Want to drive a convertible? The upgrade is chea-” *Interrupted* “We’ll take it”) and soon we were cruising down I-5, top down, Beach Boys blaring at an obnoxious, of-course-we’re-tourists-and-loving-it level. There’s something about a convertible ‘Stang (we named her Sally, natch) that just makes you feel free, and I found myself looking at the other convertibles we passed as if we were bonded, we had admission into the special club of convertible people. These strangers were our new peeps.

Soon we checked into our nicely renovated room at the Red Lion Anaheim, applied the sunscreen we should have put on our pasty Canadian skin before renting a convertible (oops), and headed to the Block at Orange for a little first day of vacation retail therapy, dinner and a movie. I just have to go on record thanking AMC cinemas for having arm rests in their theatres that lift up, so if there’s no one next to you you can pop up all the arm rests and actually get comfortable. Such a small touch, but it rocks. So much so that I enjoyed that more than the movie

The next day it was onto Disneyland. If you’ve read my blog before (and if you haven’t shame on you! Lol) you know I’m kinda sorta really obsessed with Disneyland worldwide. It’s my crack, the addiction I just can’t shake, and if I’m ever within 200 miles of one, you know I’m there. I’ve been to this park something like 20 times, but the second I enter that central plaza and can hear the Disney classics being piped in over the sound system, a stupid grin affixes itself onto my face and I’m Disnified all over again. My friend had never been here before, so I kept lapsing into tour guide mode, spouting useless facts and planning a route for optimal rideage, before snapping out of it and just letting him enjoy the experience. I had never been here for the Holiday versions of the Haunted Mansion and Space Mountain before and I was really surprised at how large a change they are. I had always assumed they just left the ride the same and threw in some Nightmare Before Christmas/ghostly decor and called it re-themed, but it’s actually a totally new ride experience. The Haunted Mansion specifically. The new decor was all-encompassing, the storyline was totally different, the colours were brighter and the overall effect was actually much less creepy than the usual ride. It was really noticeable near the beginning, when you’re in the stretching room, and normally lightning flashes and you see the hanging corpse above you. But the holiday version had the same lightning, only accompanied by the not creepy at all smiling face of Jack Skellington. The Space Mountain:Ghost Galaxy retheme was a little more on the spooky side, with giant projections of space ghosts where the planets normally are, and because the planets are not illuminated, the entire ride experience is darker. This makes it feel much faster, though the ride itself has not changed at all.

The following day was all Disney, too. Giddy fun in the warm California sun. It was hot this day, and mid afternoon we hit up the shops to buy all the breakables (4 mugs between the 2 of us, but they were so cute, we couldn’t resist) and stuff we hadn’t wanted to carry on the rides (a stuffed Yoda will now provide me guidance from the top of my bookshelf) before going back to the hotel. While my friend slept off the heat, I took my hyper self shopping at the nearby Anaheim Gardenwalk mall. I know it was 230pm on a Monday, but this area is full of people on vacation, so there was no reason for the mall to be a ghost town. There were like ten shoppers in the whole place, and most of the people in the halls were employees walking off their boredom. I couldn’t believe it. Granted, there really aren’t any flagship stores, unless you like the over-perfumed yuppie clothes of Hollister, and it was too early for the good selection of restaurants to be busy, but still. It was almost uncomfortable being there. So I went to Sephora in downtown Disney. I always got to Sephora in Downtown Disney. At this point they should just see me coming and greet me at the door with a little basket and my favorite flavour of iced tea. A girl can dream… But I spent my money like a good shopper, then went back to the hotel, picked up my friend and we headed back to Disney to hit the California Adventure Park.

I always describe this park to clients as a good way to spend an afternoon if the lines at Disneyland get too long. There just simply isn’t too much there, and consequently the lines are usually short. Now it’s also massively under construction, as Disney has realized this and they’re in the process of building a big-ticket Little Mermaid Ride, a park, and a whole new Cars Land, complete with giant prefab mountains that were just beginning to take shape. When this park matures, it’ll be great, but for now all you have to do is make sure you ride Soaring over California and spend some time lost in Disney wonderment at the Animation Studio and you can leave fulfilled. They have just launched a new World of Colour show that’s supposed to be spectacular, combining projections, lasers and thousands of dancing fountains, but the fastpasses were sold out by the time we got there, and neither of us were willing to start lining up three hours early in order to get a good seat. That’s precious Disney time wasted. So maybe next time… I’ve never seen the Fantasmic show in Disneyland, either, for the exact same reason.

Day three brought a last-minute road trip down to San Diego. The plan was to enjoy the two hour dive each way with the top down, wind in our hair, but the weather had other plans. Overcast with a high of 19 degrees meant that it was top up, hoodie on, but the ride was till enjoyable. We spent the day at the world-famous San Diego Zoo, and I can’t recommend this place enough. It’s got more species in one place than pretty much any zoo on the planet, it’s nicely landscaped, so you feel like you’re exploring the pathways instead of just walking down pre-fab roads, and it has great gift shops. What’s not to love? We saw everything and took the majority of our vacation pics that day…