Happy Hockey Day, Canada!
It’s a national holiday here in Canada, the day we all take off to celebrate the wonder that is the greatest game on earth – Hockey! Okay, so it’s not “technically” a holiday, but it might as well be. Between noon and four pacific time, the streets are going to be empty as every eye in the nation is on the Canada/US gold medal game. On friday at 6 during what was only a semifinal game the parking lots were empty and the BF and I had a whole grocery store practically to ourselves, so when you multiply that by Gold and Sunday you get the complete ghost town effect.
This is so big here, you don’t even have to like or know anything about hockey to be caught up in all the excitement. There was a line up around the block at the Georgia St Shark Club sports bar already at six this morning, and that’s not even the most coveted seat in the city. At this point, the only way you can get a seat in GM Place for the game (er, I mean Canada Hockey Place, I don’t want those Olympic sponsorship people on my back) is if you’re running a country, sleeping with someone who’s running a country or have suddenly been drafted to play. Actually, sleeping with someone who’s running a country probably isn’t even a guarantee, unless you’re really good. On the bus yesterday I overheard some guys planning their hockey drinking game: everytime we score, take a shot. Every time we hit them really hard (it has to shake the glass, the criteria were pretty specific), take a shot. And every time the US scores against us, just down the rest of the bottle and hope you forget it quickly. Win or loose, they’re going to be completely pickled by four pm, and it’s either going to be one hell of a crazy party tonight or they’re going to be unconscious, so they won’t have to feel the agony of defeat. Now that’s dedication. I like it. I could never do it myself, but I like it. I wonder if liquor stores are going to see a big sales day…? Or are they just not going to open because all their staff’s at home watching the game?
Basically, the nation has come to a standstill. Please, everybody, get your cheezies and Bud Lights now before the puck drops, because once that happens, the country could suddenly transform into one of those abandoned shells so often seen in zombie movies after everyone’s been infected. Ooh, that analogy works better than I had planned, as we’re already infected. All of us. With Olympic Gold Medal Hockey Fever (OGMHF). God knows, my new TV and earth-changing high-def channels will have every pixel focused so closely in we’ll be able to identify the exact tooth that comes flying from the US player’s mouth when we slam him! It’ll be awesome! I’ll update this later with a postgame analysis, but no matter what it’s gonna be good.
Happy Hockey Day, Canada!
Related posts:
WE WON!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDD! The best possible finish to the best possible games, giving us the record for the most gold ever won at an Olympic Games. Now that’s what I call owning the podium.
Oh, and if Sydney Crosby wants to run for Prime Minister, he should do so now, because he’s a shoo in.