The ultimate relationship test – traveling with someone
“We’ve been best friends since ninth grade, we’ll have the best time in Europe!”
“I love him! Three weeks on the beach will give us time to connect more!”
“You’re going to Asia? Me too! Let’s go together and save on the hotel costs.”
It seems like such a good idea at the time. You get along with/are dating/are married to/share similar interests with someone and you decide “gee, Steve, wouldn’t it be awesome if we went on vacation together?” Picking your travel companion is usually done even before the destination is chosen, but before you begin to suggest a trip, stop and think about it. No, I mean, really think about it. There’s no greater test to a relationship than travelling together.
Let your mind wander back to your childhood. When Mom and Dad packed you, your brother and your ten thousand suitcases of crap into the van and took off for a weekend up at the lake. By the time you reached mile eight someone had thrown something, someone had been insulted and someone was crying. Just because you’re grown up and not necessarily with children doesn’t make a vacation any easier, as it still involves the same components: long hours trapped together and unable to escape, tedium where you have to struggle to keep yourself occupied or come up with something to say, stressful connections or deadlines, and exhaustion. Everybody reacts to these factors differently, and if, when she’s over tired and jet lagged, your best friend gets really weepy and needy or she gets so bitchy she’s taking shots at your family/career/significant other/fashion sense/pet, she may not be the ideal person to be with. Unless, of course you are prepared to handle this.
And don’t forget, you’re going to be just as unpleasant. We all have our triggers. God knows, I fly all the time, but if anyone I’m traveling with wants to wait and check-in for the flight less than the recommended three hours prior, I’ll take them out. We can relax once we’re through security, but until I know I’ve made my flight and am not going to have to run/beg/risk having my seat given away to a standby passenger, I’m in go mode. I don’t fucking care if you’re going to have to go sixteen hours until your next cigarette, that’s not my problem, so let’s get a move on it. Apologies to anyone I’ve told off in this situation over the years, but I still get this way every time I step into an airport, ticket in hand, and I don’t foresee this going away any time soon. Consider yourselves warned.
My point is that when it comes to traveling with someone, you have to, as my boyfriend always says when he does something that mildly irritates me (like leave his damp – they’re always damp – socks beside the hamper instead of two inches to the right in the hamper) take the “good with the bad”. If you can work through your differences in extreme conditions, then you’re going to have a fantastic time together. But if you have a mental picture of this person being perfect and they fail to live up to your expectations, you’re going to have issues.
Travel can test even the strongest relationship, bringing you closer than ever or tearing you apart. The way I see it, if neither passenger comes home in a body bag or handcuffs, it was a success. If times get occasionally testy just remember, you’re normal. That’s just part of the experience and (unless you’re the one in the body bag) you’ll laugh about it later.
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