Las Vegas Baby!
“What the heck are we doing here? It’s nothing but sand” was my first impression as the pilot announced final approach into Las Vegas this past fourth of July. Then suddenly there she was, rising out of the heat waves like a miniature Egypt…no, Paris…no, Italy…no, Camelot. The hotels should give passport stamps to go with their wonderfully tacky souvenirs. As a Vegas beginner, the city comes at you like an adult Disneyland, all bright and flashy and promising to make dreams come true.
We were staying at the Excalibur, and were lucky enough to get one of the newly renovated rooms (read: tasteful décor and a massive flatscreen TV – that we never figured out how to operate, but it wasn’t like we were in the room long enough anyhow). Already we had learned the first rule of Vegas: everyone’s looking to get rich, including all the taxi drivers who delight in taking the “fast way” which happens to cost double.
For two Canadian girls, the heat hit us like a blanket you can’t shrug off. Mid-afternoon we prayed for the wind to stop as it was hotter than the ambient air temp, and the sun setting didn’t provide much relief, because then the baked pavement released it’s stored heat, turning the whole Strip into a shoe-softening hot plate. On the 6th we were lucky enough to get the hottest day of the year, a blistering 125 degrees (according to our Gondolier at the Venetian) that would have been unbearable had there been any humidity.
And the hotels lived up to their reputations. Our favorite was the spectacular Venetian and the Paris flowed close behind, both in terms of great themes and overall photogenic-ness. The Bellagio and Cesar’s Palace are beautifully over the top, and the Luxor’s playful Egyptian carnival was a lot of fun. We managed to talk our way up the inclinators (diagonal elevators) ascending the walls of the giant pyramid and get memorable views over the casino and mock ancient city below.
If you’re not lucky enough to win the jackpot (as we were), you learn rule #2: Vegas is expensive. Between the $4 bottles of water, $10 average fast food meal and souvenirs, our money went faster than if a slot machine had eaten it. But there is hope, as the free dancing fountains at the Bellagio were spectacular, the volcano eruption at the Mirage was cool and the cheesy Pussycat Dolls-meets-Chippendales Sirens of TI show was fun to laugh at. At both the Showcase Mall and Hawaiian Marketplace there were also half price ticket booths where you could snag great same-day tickets to many of the big-name shows for a steal.
All told, Vegas wasn’t the “adult playground” I’d expected, much more tongue-in-cheek, a city that seemed to go out of it’s way to make fun of itself. No matter how much you see, you will always leave with a list of things you missed or, as I like to put it, “saved for the next trip”.
- As originally published in the Vancouver Province
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