Hawaii – Lush Lahaina, leis and luaus
For a first-time cruiser a 16-day Hawaiian cruise is like reading a whole book on cruising but getting only the Cole’s Notes version of the islands themselves.
Cruising being only for the “newlywed and nearly dead” is a misconception for the most part but, with my sailing being during the school year, the first few days were spent assuring the other passenger that, at 21, I was not part of the entertainment staff. And I was not going to break into song and dance to prove it, either. On the upside, I stood out enough that the crew knew me by name and everywhere I went I was greeted with a smile.
The sailing was an adventure itself, as the late November seas were hell bent on making the crossing from San Diego and back memorable. You learn pretty quickly that the arms are on the treadmills for a reason and the cabin stewards are used to having to steam clean wallpaper in the middle of the night. On the way back we were actually stopped in the middle of the Pacific for an emergency medical supply drop by the coast guard, as a sea sick man had ruptured something important and was loosing too much blood, but we were too far out for a helicopter to come and pick him up.
Filling the time was a never ending stream of games with a regular group of colourful characters, ranging from a woman who constantly squeaked with excitement to a couple who’s comments reaffirmed the notion that it’s the ones who look innocent who have the dirtiest minds.
And then there was trivia, the place to see and be seen on the Statendam, where “playing for fun” was the cover story for die-hard competition. People would practically tackle one another for a Dam Mug or the coveted Dam Dark penlight (on Holland America, everything becomes Dam something, as the ships all end in -dam).
Hawaii was as fantastic as the postcards, humid and friendly, with a constant rainbow overhead. They can also claim Spam McGriddles and endless Magnum PI shirts.
We hit Hilo on American Thanksgiving, so the entire island was shut down, but the next day in Honolulu was the American equivalent of Boxing Day and I got all my Christmas shopping done cheap at Ala Moana centre. Kauai, the wild chicken capitol of Hawaii, was our shortest stop to allow for a scenic cruise of the Napili coast, and Lahaina on Maui looked so much like Pirates of the Caribbeanthat you expected Johnny Depp to round the corner at any second. Finally there was Kona, home of the hourly volcano-eruption reports.
Hawaii’s old-world-meets-tourist-kitsch charm was fabulous and we sent just enough time there to wet my appetite. My lei, once thrown into the ship’s pool, floated to the edge, so the Director said that meant I would return to the islands some day. Maybe by then I will be part of the entertainment.
Originally published in the Vancouver Province Newspaper
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